Our girl Leslie keeps bringing it "Intellectual pride

[Lea]

Intellectual pride. . .another way of saying "ego." My sponsor speaks of this often. She tells me that she needs to begin a new anonymous program called "Intellectual Anonymous." I didn't understand what she meant until I got a sponsee who showed me. . uh, . . .me.

What a dangerous person to be in AA! People that are so smart. . .so smart but not-so-smart in the areas of making reasonable choices. I mean, I am so smart that I can talk a good game. I can tell you the why's, how's and why I ain't gonna do this or that; or even why I should do "it." I can convince everyone that I know some stuff when I am only rationalizing (definition:To devise self-satisfying but incorrect reasons for one's behavior) and justifying. What is scarey is that the graveyard is full of smart alcoholics who rationalized their way back to the bottle. Those of us who tried to reason with this disease, tried to use "common sense" but the result was nil. I often tell my sponsee (my mirror of me) that I cannot use intellectual reasoning on a spiritual problem. Intellect is good for intellectual problems (math, school, daily meditations - hehehe) but a spiritual malady needs a spiritual solution and takes spiritual actions. . . .



I am so smart sometimes I can kill myself. I think the more I "dumb it down" the humbler and more recovered I can become. When I get to the place when I can honestly say "I don't know" then I am giving God something to work with.



Love,

Leslie "The Genius" Strange